We can all agree that video games have a lot of potential for good; they improve your reflexes, hone your block-based puzzle skills, and are a good way to scientifically settle if Rambo could beat a Xenomorph’s ass. But as you’ll see from this week’s comments, the influence of video games can be less wholesome:
It’s hard enough to convince the homeowner’s association that your neighbor David should be imprisoned in a concrete cage (especially after stealing his pool ladder), but it’s another issue altogether to find a discrete contractor willing to do wet work. You’re better off just waiting for them to die of natural causes, like by a wishing well, or maybe a mummy’s curse.
For those who are unaware, John Cage’s “4’33” is four minutes and thirty-three seconds of nothing but silence. It is also notable for being the boss theme for a long, unfair human life. You don’t need to check out the extended edition on YouTube — you’re living it, baby!
Wanna clean your home? Here’s our guide: Move out of your house and live underneath the air hockey table of your local barcade. You can live off of popcorn and hot dogs (nice), play video games all day and employees will have to clean up after you seeing as you’re the most loyal customer they have.
The power to pee anywhere is wasted on and abused by cis men. This guy recreated the water cycle using the worst soda and his own body. If this is what he does with a 2-liter, I’d hate to see what he does with a Pringles can.
It’s heartwarming to see comments like this, and know that developers from CDProjekt Red follow Hard Drive. I hope that one day you accomplish your bohemian dreams — just please, stay away from Scott’s Mountain Dew bottles.
Thank you so much to everyone who commented this week! If you were featured, reward yourself with a gaming binge — you’ve earned it. If you want a chance to be featured in next week’s column, be sure to leave a comment on any of our posts across social media. Have a great week everyone!